Are you doing parenting?

Tarbiyah vs taleem 

Tarbiyah from home vs taleem from madrassah – no point in taleem if there is no tarbiyah. Most of us focus on the taleem part and not the tarbiyah. 

Backbone of society breaking due to - Absent fathers and distant mothers. Sometimes physically there but not there and sometimes physically not there either. We are prioritising duniya over our children. 

Is your parenting a reflection of Al-Wudud? 

Communicating love, compassion and mercy is key. 

Relationship comes before roles!

Discipline with love not punishment 

Are your children obedient to you or Allah Swt?

Check in with your intentions. Your efforts for Allah swt or for show/ego?

How can we raise children that are balanced, confident and connected to Allah swt?

 Your children are a reflection of you. “Our Lord! Grant us that our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes, and do make us the leaders of the God-fearing.” Quran 25:74. Ends with the dua about ourselves, make us an example for the righteous. If we model the behaviour of the righteous, they too will follow our example.  

Destructive love

Too many parents are falling into the ‘duniya’ love – this love is destructive in nature because it feeds their nafs and not their soul. It also feeds into the ego of parents because now as it makes you feel ‘good’ about yourselves. It covers the guilt for not being there for your children with presence, love and attention. Our deen teaches us that - No better gift that a man can give his children more than good manners. 

Are you doing parenting or being a parent?

We are consumed by doing, this is how we know self value. We tell our children you cannot simply play, you must achieve. You cannot have a hobby you must accelerate, you cannot dream if you cannot dream big and why dream if you cannot succeed! Time to change the spotlight from our children to our inner world!

Parenting YOU!

Pay attention and become aware of your internal wounds otherwise we will continue dumping internal dysfunction into the external world. And we wonder why nothing is working.